Friday, April 08, 2005


Hiking with Homosexuals

I’ve been doing well as far as the "no chemicals" thing is going. I've been exercising at the gym, drinking nothing but water & protein shakes and eating healthy until I just wanna throw up over my own self-righteousness. I tell you what, though, I was white-knucklin' it the other night. I felt so low and lonely that I was dying to get fucked up six different ways. But I didn't. I made some notes for future blog entries instead.

Last night I went on one of the gay
Great Outdoors weekly hikes in Griffith Park. I've been in years past and want to try making it a regular thing now that Daylight Savings has kicked in again and I'm trying to exercise more. I didn't really seem to click with any of the guys there, however. I don't know why I find it so hard making new friends or why I seem to have the social skills of a high school freshman. I kept trying to be funny and clever, but it never came off. Instead I just ended up sounding like an idiot and an asshole. I've learned from experience that these hikes aren't exactly overflowing with hot young guys, but that's not exactly why I was going. Of course, the two cutest fellows kept talking to each other. One of them seemed like a nice guy, if a bit blustery. The other guy was pretty Baldwin, but he was also as dreary as a rainy Sunday. (Can you say "sour grapes"?)

When we got to the summit of Mt. Hollywood, there was another group there, as well. I was politely talking to a couple of cute blonde girls from this group who accused me of using one of the other hiker’s dogs as a "chick magnet." I didn’t know what to say. Obviously I couldn't going to agree, but it seemed rude to burst out with something like, "Well, you got that wrong, Miss Thang! *snap snap*" Later as we were all hiking down, one of the two women smacked me on the ass. I was kind of taken aback, but not offended. I was little flattered, actually. I was just glad to be getting some kind of action, even if it wasn't the kind I was looking for.

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