Saturday, April 16, 2005

 

Peevish

Sometimes I wonder if I've really gained anything by making all of these alleged improvements in my life. All I've got from working out is a back in spasm that's causing me great discomfort and keeps me from being able to sleep. Plus, it's cost me a small fortune in chiropratic treatments, accupuncture and (legit) massage when any reasonably intelligent person (or total idiot, for that matter) knows that a $10 prescription of Vicodin would give me the best relief. But I'm "not doing that." And yet the only thing that seems to have changed by being nauseatingly clean and sober is that I have a lot less fun than I used to. My apartment is still a mess, my job is still a mess and my life is still a mess. Everyone I know seems to be in a serious relationship or moving in with someone or dating someone or having babies or at least having someone to fuck on a regular basis. But I'm still here caressing shadows and clinging on to nothingness like a raison d'être. I don't even have a demon lover or a lifelike fantasy to waste my hours away. All I have is the ghost of a child's dream of what love may have could have been.

# posted by Michael St. John @ 2:38 PM
Comments:
I liked your blog... so I linked you. Hope that's okay.
Best,
E
# posted by Blogger Echo : 3:16 PM
 
I like your writing style. Have you considered writing a humorous short story about being single and struggling in Hollywood? "Lad lit" is supposedly some kind of up-and-coming genre. Think Bridget Jones with an Adam's Apple.
S
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 7:46 PM
 
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