Monday, April 18, 2005
Man, I'm Old!
I attended the Saturday Vigil/Teen Life mass the other night, and I told this teenager sitting near me to take his hat off in church. He gave me a look, but he actually took it off for the duration. I should probably consider myself lucky that he didn't beat the crap out of me or stick me with a shiv. (This is Los Angeles, after all.) I wanted to tell him to pull his damn pants up and to dress better for mass, but I resisted. I could see myself haranguing him with "Listen, sonny, in my day we put on our finest duds when we went to church." *sigh*
Turning thirty-five has been pretty hard on me. I know I'm still young, but "being 'still young' is so much different than being 'young.'" (L.M. Montgomery, The Blue Castle) I might not mind it so much if I had accomplished any of the things I thought I'd have done by now. I regret all of those empty, wasted years, barely keeping my existence afloat and living on emotional subsistence. But I'm not sure that I would have (or could have) done anything different if I were to do it all over again. As such, all I can do is use the time and graces God has given me to construct the life that I feel I should be living.
Turning thirty-five has been pretty hard on me. I know I'm still young, but "being 'still young' is so much different than being 'young.'" (L.M. Montgomery, The Blue Castle) I might not mind it so much if I had accomplished any of the things I thought I'd have done by now. I regret all of those empty, wasted years, barely keeping my existence afloat and living on emotional subsistence. But I'm not sure that I would have (or could have) done anything different if I were to do it all over again. As such, all I can do is use the time and graces God has given me to construct the life that I feel I should be living.
