Monday, May 02, 2005
Tying One On (And I Don't Mean a Rainbow Ribbon)
Or "Relapse" Ain't Just Running Circles Around a Track...
While Yelling "Reee!"
Well, with the passing of the month of April, I fell off the proverbial wagon and drank alcohol last night. I don't exactly consider it a relapse since it was planned. I really don't think God designed me for complete sobriety, and after thirty days without so much as caffeine, I was ready for a break. I'm simply one of those people who "can never say forever." Granted, I was flipping out at church, and I wanted to shout out, "Hurry up! I've got drinkin' to do!", which isn’t a particularly healthy sign. But whatever.
I needed to cut loose after my crappy week at work. First of all, it was "Employee's Week" (née "Secretary's Week" née "Secretary's Day"). While the firm gave us all a nifty clock and a lovely certificate of appreciation, I was kind of cheesed off that my boss didn't acknowledge the occasion in any way. She didn't necessarily have to take us paralegals out to lunch like she did last year, but some kind of recognition would have been appreciated. (Just a "Happy Employee's Week. Get back to work!" would have been better than nothing.)
Also, I've been very run down the past couple of weeks. Possibly my body is fighting off a cold or something, but I've been quite tired, even when I've gone to bed early. When I'm really tired at work, I don't think anything about taking a nap in an unused office during my lunch. It really revives me, and I'm better able to function in the afternoon. I was napping on the couch in the office of a partner who is out on medical leave. In walks another partner who got upset at me and said I shouldn't be "taking my lunch" in a partner's office. I found out from my boss' secretary that this partner had called my boss right after this all went down. My boss was out that day, so I don't know what the repercussions of all of this are going to be yet.
Finally, I made a fatuous comment to yet another partner, which she apparently took exception to. I was just getting up to type some labels, and I said, with a grin on my face, "You wanna type some labels for me?" She gave me a lecture on needing "better boundaries" and showing her more "respect." I wasn't trying to disrespect her. (I like her.) I mean, geez, it was just an off-handed comment. So as you can see, with my nose out of joint and my job in peril, alcohol seemed like a perfectly rational response. As far as my employment is concerned, my only consolation is that I do a brilliant job (if I do say so myself), so hopefully they'll be willing to put up with my little idiosyncrasies.
On a more positive note, at least I didn't take any Vicodin last night. (My dealer keeps calling me. "Hey 'Michael,' I was just calling to see how you're doing and if you need anything.") All in all, the drinking thing was pretty dull. It didn't make me feel particularly good, just fuzzy and slightly nauseated. So I don't think I'll be going back to making it a regular thing.
And now for a Bridget Jones-esque wrap-up report:
While Yelling "Reee!"
Well, with the passing of the month of April, I fell off the proverbial wagon and drank alcohol last night. I don't exactly consider it a relapse since it was planned. I really don't think God designed me for complete sobriety, and after thirty days without so much as caffeine, I was ready for a break. I'm simply one of those people who "can never say forever." Granted, I was flipping out at church, and I wanted to shout out, "Hurry up! I've got drinkin' to do!", which isn’t a particularly healthy sign. But whatever.
I needed to cut loose after my crappy week at work. First of all, it was "Employee's Week" (née "Secretary's Week" née "Secretary's Day"). While the firm gave us all a nifty clock and a lovely certificate of appreciation, I was kind of cheesed off that my boss didn't acknowledge the occasion in any way. She didn't necessarily have to take us paralegals out to lunch like she did last year, but some kind of recognition would have been appreciated. (Just a "Happy Employee's Week. Get back to work!" would have been better than nothing.)
Also, I've been very run down the past couple of weeks. Possibly my body is fighting off a cold or something, but I've been quite tired, even when I've gone to bed early. When I'm really tired at work, I don't think anything about taking a nap in an unused office during my lunch. It really revives me, and I'm better able to function in the afternoon. I was napping on the couch in the office of a partner who is out on medical leave. In walks another partner who got upset at me and said I shouldn't be "taking my lunch" in a partner's office. I found out from my boss' secretary that this partner had called my boss right after this all went down. My boss was out that day, so I don't know what the repercussions of all of this are going to be yet.
Finally, I made a fatuous comment to yet another partner, which she apparently took exception to. I was just getting up to type some labels, and I said, with a grin on my face, "You wanna type some labels for me?" She gave me a lecture on needing "better boundaries" and showing her more "respect." I wasn't trying to disrespect her. (I like her.) I mean, geez, it was just an off-handed comment. So as you can see, with my nose out of joint and my job in peril, alcohol seemed like a perfectly rational response. As far as my employment is concerned, my only consolation is that I do a brilliant job (if I do say so myself), so hopefully they'll be willing to put up with my little idiosyncrasies.
On a more positive note, at least I didn't take any Vicodin last night. (My dealer keeps calling me. "Hey 'Michael,' I was just calling to see how you're doing and if you need anything.") All in all, the drinking thing was pretty dull. It didn't make me feel particularly good, just fuzzy and slightly nauseated. So I don't think I'll be going back to making it a regular thing.
And now for a Bridget Jones-esque wrap-up report:
- Units of alcohol: 5 Mickey's® (cheap, frat boy malt liquor)
- Cigarrettes: 5 (something I'm actually rather disappointed about)
- Weight: 176 pounds (body fat is down from 23% to 19%)
